5 tips to deal with your in-laws palava

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Here are some tips for dealing with your in-laws

1.Be united: Work together and have a clear plan for dealing with the in-laws. For instance, you each handle all communications and requests for your own parents.

2. Assume the best: Don’t take any advice, suggestions, or comments the in-laws share as being meant to hurt you. Remember, your spouse is their child and they’re emotionally invested in his/her future and happiness. Instead of getting angry, speak with your spouse and decide if it’s better to let it go or deal with it.

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3. Set boundaries: If a subject comes up that you don’t want to deal with, make sure your spouse knows and feel free to walk away from the situation or have your spouse help you disengage from the conversation. Declare religion and politics off limits (or whatever your hot buttons are).

4. Don’t give them any ammunition against your spouse: Keep your marital problems between you (unless you need help or are being harmed). Marriages go through natural ups and downs, and you may reconcile after a tiff, but if you shared what led up to it or what you spouse’s faults are with your parents, it will be hard for them to see your spouse in any other light. Plus, you can’t expect them to stay out of your marriage if you invite them in by sharing your intimate details.

5. Treat your in-laws like you’d like to be treated: You know, the Golden Rule. It’s hard to be rude to someone who’s being kind to you. That doesn’t mean you agree with them or that you’re weak. It means that you refuse to let their anger change who you are.

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